Fatherhood is your duty and privilege

FATHERHOOD BRINGS with it a unique set of challenges for which no book, class or teacher can adequately prepare you. Father’s Day is a time for celebrating the fathers that live every day accepting the challenges that will make them good fathers.

With that being said, no one should harbour any delusions about the perception of the Jamaican father. One can quibble about the perception not necessarily equating to the reality, but with regard to a social consensus, the Jamaican father is not thought of very highly.

The good fathers, the ones worth talking about, are praised as such because through the stress, the anxiety, and the doubt, they never forget that being a father is first a duty, then a privilege, and never a burden.

Let’s set the scene. You just found out that you are going to be a father and you are a little nervous, but also excited. Five months pass and the anxiety that you will be responsible for another human being’s life has set in, and you start to have doubts.

Month seven arrives and you are panicking, you do not know the first thing about being a father, and running away from the responsibility is a real consideration. It’s now month nine and the baby is finally here. The doctor gives you your child to hold, and when you look into his or her eyes, you decide in that moment to try and be the best father you can be.

No one is asking any father to be perfect, but at the very least, every father should endeavour to be present in his child’s life in a way that makes a real difference.

Children are too often the victims of decisions made by adults who refuse to acknowledge their responsibilities. Apart from being bound by law to fulfil parental obligations, the social contract between father and child is also one of immense importance.

For young men, their fathers become the standard for what being a man is all about, and the implications of that can either be extraordinary or destructive. For young women, it could shape their expectations for male behaviour for the entirety of their lives.

Fathers are meant to be protectors and providers, and we now live in a time where the innocence of a child no longer makes them impervious to the harsh and cruel realities of the world we live in.

Particularly now, as the world attempts to navigate its way through a pandemic, children need the support of their parents, their fathers, as they seek answers to existential questions in a world changing around them.

We want to celebrate our fathers on Father’s Day and thank them for choosing to be some of the good guys. We also want to encourage fathers that know they can be better to do better, because it is never too late to do the right thing.

Being a parent is a thankless job, but the jobs which are most fulfilling and most worth doing usually are. Happy Father’s Day.