Doting single dad takes care of young daughters

WHEN WE open the discussion about single parenting in Jamaica, what we will likely talk about is a host of driven, strong, capable and, you guessed it, single mothers.

In Jamaica, around 40 per cent of households are single-parent households, which are traditionally headed by the mother. However, somewhere among that 40 per cent, in a small corner of this conversation, we’ll find Dwayne Taylor and his two daughters blending in with the crowd.

‘Girl Dad’ Dwayne lives with his five- and six-yearold daughters, and although being a single father is a novelty here in Jamaica, Taylor does not believe that his current situation should be considered extraordinary.

“The main fact that they are my kids, and I always tell people dem neva trouble me, I went and trouble dem … so I just ensure that I do my best for my girls,”he said.

Taylor’s motivation for being so intimately involved in the lives of his children comes from a story we have heard much too often here in Jamaica.

His own father was noticeably absent from his life, and equipped with the understanding of how that can affect a child, he made it his mission to never pass those experiences on to his daughters.

“When I was younger I hardly saw my father. He was there, but I hardly saw him, and I always told myself that when I have children of my own, mi nuh wah dem have that same feeling of not having their father around,” he said.

Taylor has embraced the role of single father, opting to have his girls live with him, because of the love he has for them. However, in addition to the love for his children, he revealed a much more unsavoury reason as to why he has taken it upon himself to retain custody of his daughters.

He understands that for children, particularly young girls, the threat of physical, emotional and even sexual violence are dangers with which they must contend on a daily basis.

“Mi worry every day, bredda! Dat’s why me try stay focused and try stay outta problems, like stay outta prison suh mi can have the freedom fi be‘ round dem. Yuh tink to yuhself seh yuh really have to stay outta trouble, because yuh have to be there for your girls dem,” he said.

Although retaining custody of his daughters is due, in part, to his desire to see them well protected, Taylor genuinely enjoys the opportunity to spend time and bond with his daughters. The pandemic has changed the way that everyone has to socialise and for young children, making the transition can be extremely difficult.

Taylor says that his girls have adapted well to the changes and have a good understanding of the pandemic and what it means for them with regard to school and recreation. The girls’ social appetite continues to be satiated by going to visit family members, playing with their cousins, and attending daycare when daddy has to go to work.

In terms of how he is coping with the pandemic, Taylor leans on his girls to help him, just as much as they lean on him.

“With my girls, there is never a dull moment. Mi can actually reason with them like mi can reason wid older folks. It’s just a good feeling all the time, because even if me upset, dem a guh do sumn fi mek mi laugh. I can never understand why fathers nuh spend more time with their kids,” he said.

And to those fathers who do not spend more time with their kids, to fathers who want to get more involved, and to fathers who think it might be too late to make amends, Taylor had this to say about spending time with his children: “Neva sorry. Neva once sorry inna mi life.”